2009 is looking like the year of the baby. I have what seems like at least a dozen friends who are pregnant, and several others who would desperately love to get knocked up. It seems like only yesterday that most of my preggo friends had “oops” moments to get those little feet, but now everyone is trying and excited. That’s great! But why are you people looking at me? I love babies! I really, really do. And children are great as well. I love holding them and taking their pictures and talking to them because they always have something interesting to say. They smell neat (when they aren’t poopy) and their little toes are so cute! And sure, I’m turning 31 in a few months, so I’m a prime victim for this “baby fever.” But I have friends with babies and cousins with babies and complete strangers call me up to photograph their babies. I work with schools to do their portraits, so I get to hang out with children of the older variety as well. I’m sated when it comes to babies. My mom is disappointed, I know, but my little brother wants babies (if he’d ever get to work on that! I’d love some nieces and nephews and Nathan’s sibs seem as far from that road as we are–or farther). I have to say, we seem barely capable of caring for the dog properly (when is the last time Alfred got a bath? I don’t know, but he sure does stink!), and the cats are on self-timing feeders. I work all the time, and we both hate to clean. We just don’t seem like prime baby candidates.
Top that off with the whole pregnancy thing… Not really interested. My pregnant friends (or formerly pregnant friends and family members) describe it as really cool. An experience not to be missed. My mom stands by the tale that child birth didn’t hurt (you’re welcome, mom), but I’m not buying that one. My wanna-be-preggers friends all think it sounds great. Really? You swell up to ginormous proportions, you can’t see your feet, you have to wear those silly pants. Not to mention the weird cravings, odd dreams, hormones and the fact that you pee a little bit every time you laugh or sneeze. Then there’s the baby growing inside thing. I hear it’s really cool. You can feel their little heads under your rib cage or their little feet kicking your kidney. I’ve even seen a picture of a pregnant belly with a cute little foot print pushing against it from the INSIDE!! ACK! Can we say Alien? It just sounds like a parasite, alien creature that twirls around and kicks or punches or sits on very important internal organs. You can’t sleep on your tummy (since you don’t want to smoosh them, I suppose), but they can sleep wherever they want, including your very comfy bladder (see the laughing and sneezing issue). Then, to top it all off, you have to push it out of a very small opening (one they often cut so nothing rips!), and I hear nothing ever goes back exactly the same.
Anyway, I don’t judge those who want babies. I think it’s great! Bring them over to play (Alfred prefers children to the cats anyway). Call me up to take their pictures. Just please don’t ask when we’re having one. 🙂
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