So I’m sitting here after having a blah Monday (and Monday’s are supposed to be my day off. Why am I getting the “Mondays” on my day off?!) and I think some ice cream would really help my mood. Yes, I console myself with food, but the key is portion control. I would like to get one small container of the Häagen-Dazs chocolate (with only 5 ingredients, cream, chocolate, sugar and whatever are the last two ingredients required to make delicious chocolate ice cream) and eat one serving.
I know, you all think my world revolves around Dove Give Into Mint. It does not! Dove uses HFCS and Ingles doesn’t carry any Dove while Kroger doesn’t carry the GIM flavor, so I’ve adapted. Anyway, I would like to have this ice cream, but I’ve already been out and about today and really don’t feel like leaving the coziness that is my house. I devised a plan and I would appreciate your opinions.
The plan requires you have a cat. Here is the plan:
Tape a couple of dollars plus a picture of your ice cream to the cat and send it out to the store.
When the cat arrives, a person will see the money & the picture of the ice cream, purchase that ice cream and tie the bag with the ice cream and your change to the cat. Oh hell, they can keep the change. Or, if the cat would prefer, he can use the change to buy himself a bag of kitty treats.
The cat returns home quickly so that your ice cream has melted only to the perfect consistency.
As a side note, Firefox has gotten lazy about checking my spelling. Sadly, I have also gotten lazy in that regard. Please blame any mistakes on autocorrect.
UPDATE!!
Nate just developed a vest for the cat with a GPS turret mounted on the top. You dangle a bag of catnip from the turret’s arm and make sure it’s always facing the direction you want your cat to go! It’s an automated carrot on a string concept. It’s a self-steering carrot. Smart Carrot Animal Traveler: SCAT.
Patent Pending
